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February 09

Valentine’s: Survival Guide

By Ella Miista
Valentine’s Day is coming. Here's a survival guide to make sure you come out of it in one piece, regardless of your relationship status or state of mind. If you are in a happy relationship you’re in luck. There are plentiful options. You can opt to calling it a Hallmark holiday and skip entirely, or just spend time with your loved one. But, you can also do things that make the more cynical feel nauseous, like covering your beds with rose petals. Since you guys have it easy compared to everyone else, we'll skip over the restaurant recommendations. Come to think of it, you might be late with that now anyway. If you're a guy reading this, get her shoes. I can recommend you this real cool footwear brand. It’s a bit less straightforward if you’re dating a new person. Are you guys even dating? Does this have the potential to become anything serious? I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he going to make a romantic gesture? Should I pretend I have no idea what date it is? No? Just me spending the days leading up to it basically reading Cosmopolitan and cringing every time I get an email about yet another V Day flash sale? If you’re in that position, fret not. I have done all the research for you and quite frankly, the only thing that made any sense was just to be honest. Unless your potential boo lives underneath a rock he’s well aware of what’s coming. Actually, these days Wifi reaches underneath rocks too, so it’s ok to casually mention it. Maybe just don’t expect dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant. Don't invest in quirky/cute gifts either - they might spell I-N-S-A-N-E to the unknowing eye. Keep it low key. If it all goes to plan you can do the rose petals thing next year, you know? Single people meanwhile are limiting their social media use. I can’t imagine a better time to have been single than right now, but February 14th works really hard to make all that happiness disappear. Happy and confident without a boyfriend? No, you have it all wrong. You simply need one! Especially for today! A date with boxed wine and a Hugh Grant film marathon isn’t something an empowered single woman should succumb to, so we’ve come up with a few alternatives. guy bourdin This weekend at Somerset House will be the calm before the storm that is London Fashion Week. If you have yet to see the Guy Bourdin exhibit, now is your chance. Bourdin is pretty much the godfather of fashion photography, transforming it from commercial to artful. Add a trip to Laduree in Covent Garden later and it sounds like a pretty excellent Saturday already. The video isn’t entirely suitable for a corporate setting so proceed with caution. Really, the Institute of Sexology exhibition at the Wellcome Collection in Euston isn’t for the prudish. Investigate human sexuality and how the ideas around it have evolved since late 19th century until. Expect some Freud but also contemporary art. Screen Shot 2015-02-09 at 15.49.09 Theatre is always a good option. Our pick is The Nether at the Duke of York’s – a sci-fi thriller slash crime drama, it’s intricate, evoking and at times disturbing. Not quite Romeo and Juliet, but to be honest, they both die in the end anyway, so even that would be a far cry from spending the night watching Love Actually. If that feels a bit full on, it could be David O’Doherty time! He’s the self-proclaimed forgotten Sugababe, but despite his confusion, he’s a really funny comedian. He is performing at the Hackney Empire on the 14th but it is probably for the brave. If Mock The Week has taught us anything is that you don’t go to comedians for sympathy, but really, David O’Doherty is jokes. Broken-Hearts-and-Promises-Valentine-Popup- If you feel like adding a cocktail or two (or six) into the equation, Broken Hearts and Promises sounds like the pop-up to go to. It's infinitely classier than the boxed wine too. It takes place at Bloomsbury House (see, I told you - classy!), there are photo booths, heart-shaped piñatas (channel that pent up frustration!) and a cinema lounge showing Tarantino's True Romance.
Berlin based Tama Sumo will take over East London’s Dance Tunnel with her significant other Lakuti. Entitled Your Love, they tell you to bring your love, but if your love just so happens to be a new handbag, so be it. Love notes and force fed chocolate are not included in the ticket price but you are likely to hear music that will make you feel elevated and loved up. See, it's doable. Maybe abstinence from Instagram will help, but make a pick and claim your right to spend Valentine's with the person you truly do love the most - yourself. Flying solo or in packs of single friends are great, as is inviting that new guy along. If you do that make sure to think of others though. Go easy on the PDAs. Cover photo by Guy Bourdin.
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